lunacy
1540s, "condition of being a lunatic," formed in English from lunatic (q.v.). Originally in ref. to intermittent periods of insanity, such as were believed to be triggered by the moon's cycle. The O.E. equivalent was monaðseocnes "month-sickness."
On Thursday I was diagnosed with a more specific form of mental illness than that of depression and anxiety. I have spent all weekend dealing with it, second guessing every action and reaction, and trying to determine what really makes me who I am. The best way (of course) to begin the process of understanding this news is to write. I thought it would be interesting to write a piece where the protagonist thinks she is stalked by the 'black dog', but finds that she is, in fact, the very object of her fear. I am going to link this piece to the story of Little Red Riding Hood, swapping the wolf for the black dog (although they are most likely one and the same).
You may be interested to know that Thursday night was a full moon here in Australia, and when I realised that I had a wry laugh to myself; oh the bitter irony of it all.
If it makes you feel any better, I've been told sanity is over rated.
ReplyDeleteMental illness doesnt change anything, you're still a wonderful, strong, intelligent inspirational woman. Dont ever forget it.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you're going through a rough patch. But sometimes a diagnosis, no matter how dire, can be better than unidentified dread.
ReplyDeleteYou MUST write this story of the black dog/wolf who stalks/is Red Riding Hood. (A girl who runs with the wolves?)
Sometimes I think everybody has a "mental illness" of some kind (at least the drug companies would have us think so.) Art is a way of opening a window into our particular brand of it so the rest of the world can understand.
I feel quite guilty that I didn't see your struggle - so sorry....hope you're coping okay with the diagnosis, whatever it may be. I guess all brilliant artists have their price to pay, which is so unfair. xoxoxoxox
ReplyDeleteAll that does is prove that you are even stronger, smarter, and all around more fantastic than we all already thought you were. xox
ReplyDeleteThanks heaps everyone. I'm working on the piece so hope to have it done soon :)
ReplyDeletewe're more alike than i thought (wanted.... in a non stalkerish way) just thought you 'got' me more than most, and as a result of reading your post i posted a pretty ballsy post which i'm hoping to add to. Your influence is a shining light.
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