Saturday, September 4, 2010

I love the way you lie?

I like Eminem, I really do. And I am sure this is 'just' poetic licence, but there is something bothering me about it. It bothers me tremendously that radio stations are giving this song air play, but no-one discusses the absolute truth about domestic violence (henceforth known as DV). It bothers me that people talk about how wonderful Rihanna and Megan Fox are in bringing people's attention to DV. It bothers me that only those not affected by DV are the first to talk about how wonderfully this song brings up the discussion.

The thing is though, all people are doing is discussing this song. Yes, it's catchy. Too catchy. So catchy in fact, that I am ashamed to find it stuck in my head.

And I guess if it's good enough for Rihanna to sing about ... well. Oh, and Rihanna and Megan so generously gave to DV foundations ... I should stop, I am going to sound cynical.

DV and romance only go together in music clips. The trouble is, when they are there together, and placed togther so well, people forget what DV actually is.

And like Eminem's work, mine now needs a language warning.

*SERIOUS language warning ...*

Domestic Violence isn't something you would actually want to experience.

Domestic Violence isn't romantic.

Domestic Violence isn't something we, as a society, are actually dealing with.

Domestic Violence IS:

A punch to the face in the middle of the night.

Someone you love calling you a stupid fucking cunt of a child, and you thinking that it means 'I love you'.

Watching a child being thrown across a room.

Hiding behind a shower curtain.

Wetting your pants while being belted.

Blood dripping down your head.

Wishing you were dead.

Being ripped out of your bed at 2.00 in the morning.

Never sleeping.

Being hit.

Being kicked.

Being belted until you bleed.

Being thrown.

Being broken.

I know a lot of people will not like this post. I know some people will say that in order to heal, one must move on. Others will find this a confronting, negative post, and will not return.

I am taking a risk.

I have moved on, to a point. One must NEVER forget. One is duty bound to ensure that it never happens again, and in that, I have an obligation to be honest. In this case, the truth hurts very much.

Eminem - I do not like the way you have lied.


  1. I love the way you are not afraid to say what we have all been thinking. By 'we' maybe I just mean myself. Listening to this song in the car, singing along with my sister, I caught myself repeating the words "because I like the way it hurts" and forced myself to hear the words for what they are. A veil to disguise the ugly, horrific truth of domestic violence....the worst part is, that bringing it to people's attention is met with "you're overreactig, it's just a song" but songs and poems and movies and books shape us, influence us, become us.

    Those of us who know it's not 'just a song' bear the burden of reminding people to never tolerate it, never excuse it, never ignore it. You are amazing.

  2. Powerful post and words to the song. Appreciate what you are sharing. Blessings.

  3. I LOVE THIS POST!!!! You go girl! I too know what DV is first hand. Hence the sad little girl that lives inside me. And I have had a negative gut reaction to that song. Now I know why. You put what I was thinking into this post. Thank you for having the guts to say what is REAL and what you think. I am right behind you.
    Eminem- I do NOT like the way it hurts. I do NOT like the way your lied.

  4. Wow, I was honestly expecting a few 'get over it' responses. So glad that I didn't get any :)

    Thanks so much for your support, let's spread the word!