Saturday, February 19, 2011

The curse of an unquiet mind: questions for a non god

What is the meaning we all strive for?

What differences do we intend to make?

What impact can we have?

What worth is there in doing it all?

This cycle?

This day in, day out sameness, which we say is not similar to yesterday, or last month, or years ago when we first noticed this feeling?

How is it not the same as our parents, and theirs before them?

Why do we have blind faith in a bigger picture; a masterpiece which is, in reality, a cylindrical never-ending fresco that repeats and regurgitates ideas, problems and people?

We want better for the next generation, just as the one preceding us had wanted.

They gave up so much, sure in the knowledge that their sacrifice would improve our potential.

Do they regret this now?

And we look at our offspring with the same hopes and plan a sacrifice of our own.

Is that what those before us sacrificed themselves for? For us to also give ourselves away?

Do they look with disappointment or do they see the mirage we've created; mimicry of repeated success?

We allow this sacrifice because we believe that there must be a greater purpose, an unseen meaning.

What if our parents felt the same, and worse, what if there is no hidden meaning, no greater purpose?

Having faith that the questions will be answered means having hope that there is meaning in everything we strive for. It means listening to the voice inside and telling ourselves that we're not crazy.

But what if we are?

Happiness is not having faith in a higher purpose. Happiness is never being aware that there are questions that could be asked of a non god.

Optimism.

Waiting.

Faith.

Synonyms of the damned.

And yet this struggle is touted as proof of a god and we are expected to wait for a benevolent hand to offer signs of affection to the masses.

We ask our non god if it is because we don't believe that the air around us is hard to wade through, and worry that it is because there is no non god to ask at all.

2 comments:

  1. I take comfort from the only thing I know how - that long ago day in Palestine when the Eternal One entered our humanity and heard our questions and felt our anguish, cried our tears.....and offered hope. Not just for the next life, but right here and right now, in the middle of our seeming-mediocrity and in the middle of our seemingly-monotonous existence...xoxoxoxo

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