Monday, November 15, 2010

I've lost my way

It's been a hard term ... DH and I are selling our house, he got laid off, and I feel like I am making not one iota of difference at the moment.

I know it may be a bad move sharing on here, but I've got to share somewhere. I've tried a few other places, but get shut down ... the Aussie way and all that. You know suck it up, he (DH) is probably feeling blah, blah, blah. Essentially, people keep telling me that I have to be strong.

A bit over that to be honest.

And then I get cross with myself, because it feels like all I do is whinge, when honestly I appreciate so much about life, I just want ... well, who knows what I want, it's just not this.

So I sit, and take advice from Goethe: Enjoy when you can, endure when you must. Endure I will, but it doesn't stop ever fibre of my being wishing that this too will pass.

7 comments:

  1. First of all: xoxox

    Secondly, something that worked for me when it feels like the world, fates, God and everyone else has selected me as the whiping girl of the season - I just hunker down and wait for daylight.

    Hope that there is a parting in the clouds for you soon

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  2. An old Irish song says it even better "What cannot be cured must be endured."

    Sorry you're enduring so much. Sometimes it feels as if they've repealed the law of averages and you're getting all your alloted bad luck in one huge glump.

    Beauty is what helps for me. Sometimes just looking at the sky. Or the sea. Like your background here.

    And you can be happy that you're an Aussie and you get to use the word "whinge", which we Yanks don't. It says so much.

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  3. I don't know why these lyrics came to mind, your post title is an echo of these sentiments perhaps?

    If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
    I can only conclude that I was not made for here
    If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
    then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared

    Speak to me in the light of the dawn
    Mercy comes with the morning
    I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me

    Am I lost or just less found?
    On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
    is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
    'Cos my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
    And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become

    Mostly the last stanza. You're not a whinger, sometimes life just gets a bit tough and friends/blogs are there to vent and feel not so alone. xoxoxoxox

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  4. thanks so much, each of you has really lifted my day - more than I could even explain here.

    Thank you for being there to grab my hand as I went under.

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  5. hope the worst is over by now. wish we bloggers could be by your side when you were going thru' so much. are you happily settled in your new home? and seeing the beauty?

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  6. Hi Smita. Still a bit lost, but I think I may have found a map, so I'm just trudging my way through at the moment. Thanks for stopping by.

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  7. Aw, Wavey, I wish I'd seen this post last year, but I've just been so outta the loop. 2010 was not a good year for me and the blogosphere.

    Anyway, I'm glad that you commented on my blog - it compelled me to see what you've been up to lately... and man, oh, man, I'm sorry that you're having a rough go of it at the moment.

    Although I'm an atheist, I do find that the serenity prayer helps me when times are tough. I just replace "God" with "Nature" - as in: Nature grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. It might sound trite, but it's indeed true.

    And now I'll send you happy thoughts across the ocean between us. :-)

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